How Do You Deal With Tough Emotions?

Self-harm is one of those topics that many people find difficult to discuss openly, yet it affects countless individuals across all demographics. In today's heartfelt episode, we explored this challenging topic with Brittany Tinsley, who bravely shared her journey with self-injury spanning from her teenage years into adulthood. What began as a response to trauma – the suicide of a close friend when Brittany was just 15 – evolved into a long-term coping mechanism that she still occasionally battles today at 33. Her story offers invaluable insights into both the mindset behind self-harm and the path toward healing.

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WHAT'S DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE?

• Brittany's experience breaks several misconceptions about self-injury. While many assume self-harm is always a precursor to suicide attempts, Brittany clarifies that most often, it's not about wanting to die but rather about seeking control or managing overwhelming emotions. As she eloquently explains, self-injury provided something she "wasn't getting somewhere else" – a sense of agency during a time when her life felt chaotic following her friend's death and amid frequent relocations due to her father's military career. This understanding is crucial for parents, friends, and loved ones who discover someone is engaging in self-harm; approaching the situation with panic or accusation may only drive the person deeper into secrecy and shame.
• What struck me particularly in our conversation was how Brittany described her journey to healing – not as a dramatic, instantaneous miracle but as a gradual process built on honest communication. She expected God would provide a "magical healing moment," but instead received something arguably more profound: a consistent presence throughout her darkest times. The key turning point came when Brittany began breaking the silence surrounding her struggles. By building a support network of trusted people – her therapist, husband, and close friends – she created a system where she could immediately share when urges arose. This verbal acknowledgment often diminishes the power of the impulse itself, allowing her to implement other coping strategies successfully.

• For parents discovering their child is self-harming, Brittany offers wisdom from both perspectives – as someone who once hid her cuts from her parents and now as a parent herself. Her advice centers on remaining calm, creating space for honest conversation, and approaching the situation with "curious compassion" rather than assumptions or judgment. Understanding that self-harm is rarely about seeking attention but rather about seeking relief is fundamental to providing appropriate support. Parents should remember that their child's self-injury isn't necessarily a reflection of their parenting but may stem from complex emotional struggles requiring professional help alongside parental support.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

Ultimately, Brittany's testimony reveals how even our deepest struggles can become vehicles for helping others. What she once believed made her "unlovable" and "unredeemable" has become a powerful platform for sharing hope with others facing similar battles. Her upcoming book, "Stories Our Scars Tell," and her ongoing community engagement through social media and newsletters demonstrate how past pain can be transformed into purpose. As she beautifully states, "If it is part of your story, it's not a wasted part of your story. It's something that God still can and will use in some way."