How To Be Succesful In Your Parenting

~ TRIBUTE TO MASCULINITY EPISODE (WEEK 7)~

Christian parents face unprecedented challenges in raising children with strong faith foundations. As Josh Poteet, pastor of 180 Life Church in West Hartford, Connecticut, explains in his influential book "Parenting Against the Current," the struggle is real but not insurmountable. The key lies in intentional discipleship within the home, taking back the primary responsibility for spiritual formation rather than delegating it entirely to church programs or youth groups.

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WHAT'S DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE?

• One of the most transformative concepts Josh introduces is "needs-based parenting"—an approach that meets children where they are developmentally while guiding them toward spiritual maturity. This principle acknowledges that parenting must adapt as children grow. With toddlers, parents primarily teach through modeling ("I do, you watch"). As children mature, the relationship evolves to "I do, you help" and eventually "You do, I help." By the teenage years, effective parents transition to a coaching role ("You do, I watch"), providing guidance from the sidelines rather than micromanaging. This gradual release of control prepares children for spiritual independence—the ultimate goal of Christian parenting.
• Perhaps the most countercultural aspect of Poteet's parenting philosophy is the emphasis on vulnerability and transparency. In a world that tells men, especially, to "never let them see you bleed," Christian parents must model something different—the humility to acknowledge mistakes and seek forgiveness. As Poteet powerfully states, "If your kids don't ever see you mess up, they will think perfection is the target. And if perfection is the target, shame will own your kids because they cannot reach it." When parents demonstrate vulnerability, they create a safe environment where children can fail forward, learning from mistakes without being crushed by shame.

• This vulnerability extends to sharing appropriate aspects of your testimony with your children. While wisdom dictates keeping specific details age-appropriate, children benefit tremendously from seeing God's redemptive work in their parents' lives. As Josh notes, "Personal doesn't mean private." Your relationship with Jesus should be personal, but not hidden from your family. You demonstrate that faith is real, relevant, and transformative by allowing your children glimpses of your spiritual journey, including struggles and victories.
• Becoming what Josh calls a "destination parent" represents another decisive shift in approach. Rather than merely surviving daily, destination parents identify clear values and priorities that guide family decisions. Their threefold destination for Josh and his wife is raising children who "love God, love people, and enjoy us." This clarity is a filter through which all activities, commitments, and opportunities are evaluated. If something doesn't advance the family toward this destination, it doesn't cut it, regardless of cultural expectations or peer pressure.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

The ultimate message for parents swimming against the cultural current is one of hope and purpose. The conviction you feel when considering these principles isn't condemnation but invitation—God showing you something beautiful to pursue. Your family's spiritual journey isn't about perfection but direction. Are you moving upstream, against the current, toward God's purposes for your family? With intentionality and grace, you can create a legacy of faith that extends beyond your children to future generations.