Masculinity Is Not Toxic!

~ TRIBUTE TO MASCULINITY EPISODE (WEEK 6)~

In recent years, there's been a growing concern about the role of masculinity in modern churches. While the world debates concepts like "toxic masculinity," many churches have remained silent or, worse, contributed to the feminization of worship spaces. This disconnect has led to men feeling unwelcome in church settings, creating a spiritual vacuum that affects not just men but entire families.

Sean McManus, owner of McManus Strength and Nutrition, offers valuable insights into this issue. His ministry focuses on strengthening men physically, mentally, and spiritually through discipleship. The core philosophy behind his work reflects an important biblical principle: "When you capture the man, you capture the family." Statistics support this claim - when a mother attends church, there's roughly a 30% chance the family will follow, but when a father leads in faith, that percentage jumps to over 90%. This stark difference highlights the importance of male spiritual leadership in the home.

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WHAT'S DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE?

• One significant issue contributing to men's disengagement is the structure of worship services. The songs sung in church often have a romantic, emotional quality that many men find uncomfortable or unrelatable. Even the chosen musical keys favor female vocal ranges, making men self-conscious about participating. This isn't to suggest women shouldn't lead worship, but rather that churches might consider a more balanced approach that accommodates masculine expressions of faith.
• Historical context provides an interesting perspective on this issue. Following World War II, many returning soldiers found churches had become more "frilly" and tailored toward women and children. These battle-hardened men couldn't relate to the softened environment and gradually disconnected from church life. Decades later, we still feel the effects of this shift, though there are encouraging signs of change in the cultural conversation around masculinity.
• Another challenge lies in how men's ministries are designed. Too often, they're structured like women's ministries, focusing on sitting in circles and discussing feelings. While this format works well for how women naturally connect, men typically bond through shared activities, physical work, and mission-oriented tasks. Churches that understand this difference have succeeded by organizing events that get men doing something together, naturally leading to deeper conversations and genuine fellowship.

• The messaging men receive at church can also be problematic. Many pastors use Father's Day as an opportunity to tell men they "need to do better," while Mother's Day services typically celebrate women without a similar critique. While perhaps well-intentioned, this imbalance reinforces the narrative that men are perpetual disappointments rather than valued spiritual leaders.
• Sean's ministry addresses these issues by focusing on physical, mental, and spiritual strength as interconnected aspects of masculine health. By starting with physical fitness, men build discipline and confidence that transfer to every area of life. This approach helps counter the cultural message that men should prioritize everyone else's happiness (particularly through the "happy wife, happy life" mantra) at the expense of their God-given leadership responsibilities.
• The solution for churches seeking to engage men better isn't complicated: recognize and respect the unique ways men connect, worship, and serve. Create spaces where masculine expressions of faith are welcomed, not suppressed. Celebrate men's contributions rather than exclusively focusing on their shortcomings. Understand that physical activity and mission-oriented service often provide better entry points than emotional vulnerability sessions.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

The tide appears to be turning as more men grow tired of being silenced and seek authentic expressions of masculine faith. Churches that recognize and respond to this shift will be positioned to welcome these men, strengthen families, and ultimately revitalize communities through restored male leadership.