Parents, Shout Your Battle Cry!

When a child announces they're transgender, it can feel like a tsunami hitting a peaceful family beach. This was the powerful metaphor Debra McNinch used to describe the moment her adult son told her he identified as transgender. As a devoted Christian mother who had done "all the right things" – church, youth group, Christian college – this announcement came unexpectedly. Debra describes this moment as a test of her foundation: Was her family built on the rock of Jesus Christ or shifting sand?

This powerful conversation between Debra and myself provides a rare, honest look into one of the most challenging journeys Christian parents can face as I share my experience with my eldest daughter. We both describe the shock of receiving news we never expected from children we raised in faith. The tsunami metaphor perfectly captures how unprepared we felt – there were no warning signs, no preparation possible for the wave about to hit our families.

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WHAT'S DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE?

• What makes this conversation unique is the balanced approach both women take. Debra articulates the tension many Christian parents feel when navigating LGBTQ issues: "I couldn't hate my child enough to get him to heaven, but I refused to love him straight to hell." This profound statement captures the problematic middle ground many believers find themselves in – not wanting to reject biblical truth, but also not wanting to cut off their relationship with their children.

• After recognizing the church's widespread silence on these issues, Debra founded Battle Cry, a community for parents with prodigal children. The group now includes nearly 1,400 mothers from around the world who support each other through various struggles with their children – from LGBTQ identities to addiction to simple unbelief. What's remarkable is that despite the difficult circumstances, Debra describes this as a hope-filled, joyful community that holds each other's arms up in prayer, like Aaron and Hur supported Moses' arms during battle.
• Both women emphasize that this journey is ultimately about their relationship with God. While they pray and hope their children return to faith, they've learned to surrender control and trust God's timing. They've discovered that maintaining boundaries while showing unconditional love is possible and that God often uses these difficult seasons to refine their faith and character.
• The conversation highlights a significant gap in many churches – the lack of support for families experiencing these challenges. Debra notes that churches often avoid these topics and are unwilling to address them from the pulpit or even post information about support groups. She advocates for churches to host "Prodigal Sundays," a chance to openly discuss these complex topics so families can find community in their struggles.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

This conversation offers hope to parents in similar situations while challenging the church to move beyond discomfort and political divisions to minister to hurting families. As Debra powerfully states, "Jesus is coming, and we have work to do."