If you are like me, you may have cringed because you know what it means, and it disgusts you.

Porn stars, exotic dancers, prostitution, erotic fiction authors—all of this is meant to stimulate a part of us that should only be stimulated by our spouse inside a healthy marriage between a man and a woman.

God’s design has once again been hijacked by corruption. You have the right to be angry, as a believer.

However, not at those in the industry, but at the industry itself.

The people inside the industry are victims, just like those stuck in porn or sex addiction, the spouse who pays for something outside of their marriage, or the lonely housewife who may read erotic novels, longing for her husband to be like the man in the book.

Does this hit you hard?

Do you want to judge the ones responsible for creating the content that is ruining so many marriages?

Are you ready to slap the face of the stripper who has your husband’s attention instead of you?

Don’t forget: they are people too, made in the image of God.

Have you ever paused to consider that the woman writing erotic novels is doing so because she is longing for something she will never have herself? Maybe she writes it because she grew up with unhealthy ideas about sex shaped by her family or by things she watched or experienced.

What about porn stars, strippers, or prostitutes?

Have you ever considered that they aren’t doing these things because they want to?

Some absolutely are forced.

Some are trafficked.

Some entered because of addiction.

Some because of poverty.

Some because of trauma.

Some because they chose it.

Human trafficking is a real epidemic all around the world, including here in America.

Take a moment and think about your loved ones. What if something happened to them and they were forced to be in the same position as the person you hate right now? How would that change your idea of them?

This was a convicting thought for me as well, and because of it, I repented, realizing I was judging too much and not showing enough of Jesus’ love and compassion for these broken souls.

Let’s take this a step further; sometimes the victims aren’t on the screen or writing the books or doing the prostituting.

Even those behind the camera, the pimps, and the publishers need the saving grace of Jesus.

What? How can you say that? Look at what they are doing, look at the money they are making. I bet they don’t even care. They have no soul.

Okay, perhaps this is true of some inside the industry, as performers and behind the scenes, but many are there because of abuse, coercion, addiction, trauma, or exploitation.

Whoever you are thinking of as “the most disgusting” in this industry is someone who desperately needs your prayers. God is placing them on your heart for a reason, and you need to wrestle with that tension between judging and healing.

I sat down for a heart-to-heart with Tiffany Brearton, a former stripper who spent years in the industry and is now a believer spreading the word about the darkness behind the adult entertainment industry and its need for a Savior through her speaking engagements and books. Her heart’s desire is to see everyone inside set free and healed in Jesus’ name.

Our conversation was raw, honest, and eye-opening. If you have any bitterness and judgment toward those in the industry, I encourage you to listen as Tiffany sheds some much-needed light on the realities of the adult entertainment industry by sharing what she experienced and what this industry really is.

Her conclusion wrecked me and gave me a new heart for those inside this vulgar industry.

If you have ever struggled with porn or sex addiction, found yourself passing judgment on those working inside a strip club, or on those who consume or write sexually explicit novels, you aren’t alone, but you aren’t right either.

Only God can judge fairly, so we need to surrender our judgments at his feet and do what he is calling us to do.

Love the least of these.

If this episode changed the way you think about those who are in the adult entertainment Industry? I would love to hear from you.

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• “Just pray more.”

• “Just try harder.”

• “Get accountability.”

• “You need more faith.”

These are not always helpful, are they?

I’m Ana Murby, and this is Honest Christian Conversations, Minisode edition. Thank you for joining me today.

Whether this is your first time or you have been here before, I look forward to walking through this with you, because it’s a lesson I had to learn the hard way.

Confession time: I have said these things from time to time as well. They were even part of my mentality while I was going through my pornography addiction.

“Just pray more.”

“Just try harder.”

“You need more faith.”

These haunted me during my 17 years of being addicted to porn. I felt like a hypocrite because I knew this wasn’t how a Christian lives, and I wanted to stop. I had the willpower and the spiritual desire to be free from porn, but I wasn’t able to stop.

Why not? I was praying, crying, and begging God to take this from me. I believed and demanded in faith that I was already healed, and yet I wasn’t.

Whenever I was in an “I want to stop” mood, I could stop for long spurts before eventually falling back into the same cycle.

What gives? Why wasn’t I getting better?

This question frustrated me often. How about you?

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I desire to look as skinny as I did before I had five children, but I also love pizza, burgers, and Mexican food.

I want to work out to get healthier, but I also like sitting and writing.

Now take a moment to think back to a time in your life when you had the willpower to do something and how that went.

Were you able to achieve your long-term goal?

If you said no, don’t feel bad. You aren’t alone.

We all have willpower, but willpower alone isn’t enough. If we don’t turn to God in prayer and do the hard work necessary for freedom, we will eventually fall off the wagon.

Here is a reality check that may help you:

Yeah, that upset me too when I was early in my recovery process.

We feel empowered when we decide to take back our lives from the things that once held us down, but that feeling only lasts so long before we find ourselves back in the arms of our addiction.

Why?

Because we haven’t surrendered the ‘why’ behind our addiction to Christ, our Savior.

The reason behind your addiction is what you need to work through. That is the key to lasting freedom.

What is your addiction, and why do you think you do it?

Once I started my sobriety journey, God began revealing the deeper reasons behind my addiction. That’s when I realized that wanting freedom wasn’t enough.

My mindset needed to shift from ‘I can do this’ to ‘I can’t do this without God’s help.’

Your mindset needs to change, too.

Once you realize it’s not about what you can do but what God wants to do in you, you can move to the next step of recovery—and this one is helpful, but only if it’s done right.

Accountability

Hear me when I say this: Accountability alone is not enough.

You need the right accountability partners—people who will lift you up, be intentional, pray for you, and do battle alongside you.

When I first admitted my addiction, I told my husband, my family, and just about anyone else who would listen.

I liked that everyone knew about my struggle and that I was working on it.

The interesting thing is that nobody really checked up on me, not even my husband.

Praise God, that didn’t send me back into my addiction. In fact, it had the opposite effect. Knowing that everyone and their mother knew about my addiction helped me stay sober.

You may not be able to do what I did, and that’s okay. Don’t compare yourself to me.

You may need to keep only a few trusted people in the know. Just make sure they are trustworthy and willing to walk alongside you, no matter what.

If you aren’t sure you have anyone to talk to, ask God to bring someone into your life.

Accountability is important, but only when it is done right.

Let’s recap what makes a good accountability partner:

Accountability software is another fantastic tool that I took advantage of early in my recovery process. It can be helpful, but only if you are willing to do the hard work as well.

If your goal is to eventually live without accountability software on your devices, then you must be willing to move beyond simply avoiding the behavior and begin addressing the deeper issue beneath the addiction.

You need to move from sobriety into recovery.

If you aren’t sure what the difference is between sobriety and recovery, my episode with porn addiction recovery coach Chris Rogers takes a deeper look at the root of the struggle and how to bring those struggles before God as part of the healing process.

The deeper I dug into the root of my addiction, the more I realized that freedom wasn’t going to come from trying harder.

Before we go, let me leave you with one question:

Thank you for joining me today. I am so encouraged by this. I hope you are as well.

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Maybe you grew up with parents who never talked about it. If you’re anything like me, you learned through trauma, movies, or experiences you weren’t prepared for.

I have five children, and honestly, I don’t remember ever having this conversation with my oldest daughter. She’s an adult now.

My crash course came when my son was in fifth grade and was introduced to a few semi-pornographic videos on YouTube by a friend.

I didn’t handle that situation well, having been addicted to porn most of my younger years. Because he attended public school, he was also exposed to and taught about sexual topics and ideas I had never encountered.

At the same time, I was raising two young daughters and another son. The idea of having to deal with this talk four times was nauseating for me.

Having experienced molestation as a child and then growing up with very little healthy discussion about sexuality, I wanted my children to feel comfortable talking to me about difficult subjects—even this one. God forbid they ever experience something similar to what I went through. However, I didn’t have a clue how to do this without making it weird or making my children feel weird.

Children today are not sheltered, no matter how much you try to make them be. They are growing up in an increasingly unfiltered world. The truth is, they often know more than we realize.

I was faced with a choice:

I chose to trust God.

I began having open and honest conversations with my children. We called body parts by their proper names, and I provided age-appropriate explanations and guidance as needed.

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Have you ever heard of the Rebooted Teen program? I hadn’t either.

That’s why I was excited to sit down with former porn addict and school teacher, now worship leader and porn addiction recovery coach, Chris Rogers, to discuss his Rebooted Teen ministry.

Through a thoughtful conversation about why children are drawn to certain types of content, we can better understand how to respond as parents with wisdom, grace, and confidence. I learned so much from Chris, and his insights were both practical and encouraging.

I wish there had been a female mentor like Chris in my life as a teen to help my parents and me navigate these waters.

If you are dreading the “sex talk” with your own children, this episode is designed to encourage and equip you with practical tools for navigating conversations that may feel awkward but don’t have to be.

If this episode gave you the confidence to have that awkward conversation with your child, I would love to hear about it.

Why do I promise myself: “This is the last time”…only to find myself right back in the same cycle days later?

I know that cycle well, and I hate it too.

When I wrestle with these questions, Romans 7:15-20 often comes to mind. Maybe you are familiar with it.

You may have read that verse and felt a little like you were reading a Dr. Seuss book. I get it, it seems repetitive and maybe a little long-winded, but the message seems clear to me.

Did you catch it?

Don’t let this discourage you, though.

Today, I hope to start you on a journey toward freedom from the burden of guilt and shame that comes from patterns of repeated sin.

I’m Ana Murby, and this is Honest Christian Conversations, minisode edition. I’m all too familiar with unhealthy behavior patterns, being a former porn addict for 17 years. During my sobriety journey, I learned a lot about myself and what makes me tick, and I hope today I can help you uncover some things about yourself that will change the trajectory of your life, as mine did.

Let’s get to it.

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Here is an example of the vicious cycle of addiction:

Does this cycle seem to be relevant to your struggle?

I resonate with it, not just with my former porn addiction, but all other addictive behaviors I have or once had.

Take a moment and list out three behaviors you repeat and how they make you feel.

Do you find yourself in the cycle above?

If so, stay here and let’s walk through together how to overcome the flesh.

Overcoming triggers:

The 17 years I was stuck in porn addiction were the darkest and most miserable years of my life. I was constantly full of guilt, shame, hypocrisy, and self-loathing.

I have been blessed to share my story on many podcasts, and one question they usually ask me is, “What were your triggers?”

This is a fun, humbling, and eye-opening question that any addict, or former addict, should answer honestly.

These were mine:

• Negative emotions (mostly anger)

• Insecurity

• A temporary emotional escape from negative emotions or a lack of intimacy with my spouse

• Curiosity

List out some of your own triggers.

Do you see a pattern emerging between both our lists?

They are, on the surface, self-centered drives.

Now, if you are like me, you just heard me say, “You are selfish.”

That is not at all what I am saying, so please don’t hear that lie.

What I am saying is that our desires may stem from trauma, unmet needs, or life experiences that train us to look inward for relief.

It takes time, energy, and daily surrender to stop the cravings.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it when you can finally overcome your urges, rather than them overcoming you.

Stay with me as I walk you through how to spot addictive behaviors and what to do about them.

Overcoming Behaviors:

The triggers I mentioned earlier always brought me to pornography for “relief” from my life.

What do your triggers always draw you back to, whether you like it or not?

Behavior patterns are a funny thing.

What do kids do once they find a movie, song, or book they love?

They replay it over and over until you’re ready to scream. Or is that just my children?

The truth is that it’s not just kids who get this way. Adults aren’t that different, are we?

Think of a song you love and try to count how many times you’ve listened to it.

Tell me what your favorite movie is and how many times you’ve seen it.

Pride and Prejudice (the Keira Knightley version) is mine.

I lost track of how many times I have seen it.

If you hate small talk, you will love the awkwardness of this clip from my favorite scene.

The patterns we repeat may seem harmless, but what we repeatedly consume shapes our worldview, habits, and desires over time.

Not all bad behaviors look nefarious, either.

On its surface, working out and eating healthy aren’t bad until they become your all-consuming goal in life.

Even doing Christian things could become a sinful habit.

Don’t believe me?

Why are you serving at church? For Validation? To occupy your time? Church obligation?

Why do you do every bible study you can? To seem overly spiritual? To catch a feeling? Because you think it will get you to heaven?

Your motives matter: if they stop being about God and become about self, even these wholesome endeavors can become driven by sinful motives.

Check your motives every day to see whether they are positive or negative.

Overcoming Guilt and Shame:

This one is hard.

I won’t lie.

Guilt and shame are Satan’s greatest tools to keep you in bondage to your repeated sin.

This is where you need to know who you are in Christ.

If you call yourself a Christian, then you are a child of God.

That should be a big boost in your ability to overcome guilt and shame for repeatedly sinning because you know that your Heavenly Father, even if he has to discipline you, still loves you unconditionally.

If you aren’t a believer or you have fallen away from the faith, this step won’t be as easy to achieve, because lasting transformation is found only in Christ.

Surrendering to Him will be a big step in walking a path of true overcoming.

I encourage you to take a look at all the passages in the bible where God talks about how he loves you.

Find the verses that talk about being a child of God and what power comes with that.

Here is a truth that I hope will set you free from your prison of guilt and shame for repeated sins:

You don’t need to clean up your act to come to Christ; you need to believe and then allow the Holy Spirit to change you through time.

It could be a short time or a longer one, but you will see a change.

The temptation to sin will always be there, as Paul wrote in our opening verse; it’s our sinful nature warring inside us. But in Christ, you have the power to overcome.

Overcoming the Repeat:

Now that you understand your triggers, what behaviors they draw you to, and how to combat guilt and shame, let’s learn how to stop the repeat cycle of these bad behaviors.

Too bad there isn’t a button to click to turn off the repeat, like there is on your favorite music app, am I right?

This step will take intentionality and determination.

Overcoming patterns and habits you’ve lived in for years won’t be a walk in the park. Well, maybe a walk through Jurassic Park. Yes, I know that was cheesy.

It will be tough and irritating, and it might even make you cry.

That’s okay, let it out to God, share your frustrations with him.

He loves you, and he wants to help you become free more than anyone else.

Take it a day and behavior at a time.

It’s a slow process, not a sprint.

Before I end this, if you need more help on this journey to making healthier habits, I created the Retrain Your Brain series.

It was birthed out of my desire to see people stuck in addictive patterns set free from them, using God’s word as our ultimate source of overcoming.

I encourage you to walk through the 12-week Retrain Your Brain series at your own pace.

I'm ready to retrain my brain

Thank you for joining me today. If something in this article encouraged or challenged you, I would love to hear from you.

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If you can’t think of a time, let’s jog your memory by using some examples from my own life.

In high school, I had some close friends, and we did almost everything together…almost. Several times, they had gone to movies with other friends without inviting me. I found this out because the next day we hung out, they would be talking about the movie and who was there, in front of me.

Another example is whenever my children don’t want to read the bible, don’t eat what I cook, say something awful to a sibling, or throw a tantrum, I take it personally. I would think: “This is all my fault. I am a bad mom.” “Maybe they don’t love me, and that’s why they disrespect me.”

Are you starting to think of your own life examples now? I have plenty more examples, but here is one more.

My husband isn’t a big talker. Most days it’s fine with me. My love language is quality time, so if he just sits with me, I am good 90% of the time. The other 10% of the time, I think, “What did I do wrong now?” “Maybe he is angry with me for something.” Worse yet, “Why doesn’t he want to make time for me? Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore.”

What do you think? Any of these examples hit home for you?

I am a recovering people pleaser and codependent. To this day, in my forties, I am still trying to figure out who I am apart from the noise of everyone in my life.

Can you relate?

Have you heard the saying: You are the sum of the five people you hang out with?

Why do you think that is?

I think it’s because we unintentionally believe their opinions matter more than what God says about us.

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If you are feeling convicted right now, you aren’t alone. Remember, I said I was a recovering codependent. We come by this thought pattern honestly. The world tells you various conflicting ideas:

• You can’t trust people, so depend on yourself.

• Women are told not to depend on a man for anything, but also to find their soul mate.

• Men and women are both sold this lie: that a woman’s value is found in her looks.

As a Christian, you need to be fully dependent on Christ.

It can all be overwhelming, right?

How should you handle all this tension?

Glad you asked.

I had a heart-to-heart conversation with a man whose family was turned upside down when he discovered his wife’s empty bag of pharmaceutical drug bottles behind the couch.

After trying to confront her about it and getting nowhere, his codependency started to kick in, and he tried to become her savior, which only fueled the fire of her addiction.

Steve Rotermund is a former pastor and the founder of Walk Right Ministries, which he started after his own journey through codependency.

Steve was very vulnerable with me about how his wife’s addiction affected him and his family.

He also shared valuable information for learning the signs of an unhealthy versus a healthy relationship.

If you have ever felt an intense desire to make everyone like you, felt a sense of inadequacy fluctuating according to a spouse’s mood, tried to be your addicted loved one’s savior, or let your children’s choices determine your parenting success, this episode is for you!

After you listen, please share your thoughts with me.

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In this episode, I open up about my own struggle with control, how hidden patterns can form without us realizing it, and why addiction is often more subtle than we think.

You’ll also hear practical self-reflection questions to help you uncover what may be driving your habits, along with encouragement for how to begin walking in freedom without shame.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in people-pleasing, emotional dependence, perfectionism, or hidden habits you can’t quite explain, this episode is for you.

In this episode:
• Hidden addiction signs most people miss
• The connection between control, validation, and emotional dependency
• Why people-pleasing can become addictive
• Practical questions to help you identify unhealthy patterns
• How to begin breaking free through honesty, repentance, and truth

Want to know more about the warning signs of addictive behavior?
Check out my conversation with Steve Ward of STEPS Ministries, where we unpack subtle addictions and why uncovering your “why” matters.

👉 If you’re walking through struggles with habits, addiction, or spiritual strongholds, I also host a private podcast focused on recovery, healing, and freedom in Christ.

Retrain Your Brain

👉If something in this minisode encouraged, challenged, or helped you take a step forward in your faith. I would love to hear about it.

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In this episode of Honest Christian Conversations, I talk with Steve Ward, founder of Steps Ministries, about high-functioning addiction, compulsive habits, and the hidden “chains” that can quietly shape our lives.

From alcohol and porn addiction to everyday coping patterns, we explore how addiction forms in both the brain and the heart, how to recognize the true cost of unhealthy habits, and how to begin the journey of addiction recovery without shame.

You’ll walk away with practical insight, encouragement, and clear next steps toward healing, community, and freedom in Christ.

👉 Go deeper with the "Retrain Your Brain" Series
If you're walking through struggles with habits, addiction, or spiritual strongholds, I also host a private podcast focused on recovery, healing, and freedom in Christ.

What impacted you the most from this episode?

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Many Christians want to share the gospel but feel unsure where to start. In this minisode, I talk about what it looks like to live out your faith in everyday life—through simple acts of love, courage, and obedience to Christ.

Sharing the good news isn’t always about having the perfect words or a dramatic moment. Often, it begins with being willing to show compassion, speak truth with gentleness, and allow God to use ordinary moments to point people toward Jesus.

In this short reflection, I explore how believers can step forward in faith and represent Christ in their daily interactions with others.

If you’ve ever wondered how to share your faith in a natural and authentic way, this conversation is for you.

If you are looking for tips on how to share the gospel through street witnessing, this episode I did with James Moffitt from The ABCs of Parenting Adult Children is a fantastic way to learn from someone who has many years of experience.

Listen to How To Share the Gospel Without Fear: Practical Tips for Christians

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If something here encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you take one small step forward in your faith, I would love to hear about it.

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You’re not alone, and you’re not failing God because of it.

In this episode, I’m joined by my friend and fellow podcaster James Moffitt, who became a Christian at seventeen and spent over ten years doing street witnessing. Through real-life conversations, mistakes, and growth, James learned what actually helps Christians share the gospel in a way that’s loving, natural, and grounded in trust—not pressure or performance.

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This conversation is for anyone who has ever thought:
“I don’t know enough.”
“I’m too shy.”
“What if they reject me?”

Together, we explore how to move past fear and step into faith with humility and confidence.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• How to share the gospel without fear

• Why feeling unprepared doesn’t disqualify you from sharing your faith

• What street evangelism taught James about real human connection

• Practical tips for Christians who want to talk about Jesus naturally

• How to handle rejection with grace

• Why obedience doesn’t mean perfection

If you’ve ever wanted to talk about your faith but felt intimidated, unsure what to say, or afraid of how others might respond, this episode will encourage you and offer practical next steps to begin sharing the gospel with confidence and compassion.

Listen to his podcast, The ABCs of Parenting Adult Children: https://www.parentingadultchildren.org

Was this helpful in providing encouragement the next time you need to share your faith?

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I used to be so closed off to hearing differing opinions because I was convinced I knew the truth and the other person was wrong. The ironic thing was that I only listened to the opinions that mattered to me and aligned with my beliefs, so I didn’t really know anything; I was just blindly following.

Another reason I was closed off was that I may have believed I was right, but I didn’t know why, and therefore wasn’t secure in what I believed. I never wanted to engage with someone who might challenge my beliefs because I didn’t want them to find out I didn’t know enough to hold a good conversation.

Because of this mentality, I also found myself judging people by how they looked or by the little bit of information I knew about them, and sizing them up as either not worth my time or too much for me to engage with.

Have you ever been in that place before? Scared to engage with someone you know who thinks differently about things than you?

This is right where satan wants us, but where God wants to call us out of.

This minisode explores judging people by their past and beliefs, the role of our own biases, and how humility opens the door to growth.

If you are curious to see how my guest, zombie apocalypse fiction writer (Anne) A.M. Geever, and I engaged during our episode together, and find engagement for the next time you find yourself talking to someone different than you, listen now.

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In January and February of 2025, I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and talk with people I have disagreements with or just to learn something new about someone. I had a few people agree to talk with me, and one of them was today’s guest. She is a published author of zombie-apocalypse fiction, has attended a Unitarian Universalist seminary, and holds a Master of Divinity degree, although she now considers herself a Christian-influenced agnostic.

You can imagine that when I saw all this, I immediately regretted my decision to do this and was unsure how I would handle the conversation, because I know nothing about her spiritual background, and I haven’t read zombie fiction other than World War Z, ages ago, I prefer to watch it, and even then, not too often.

Well, my guest, A.M. (Anne) Geever, apparently felt the same way about my offer to discuss our differences.

Anne said she was about to decline my offer because of all the differences in our beliefs, but at the last minute, as she wrote her message to me, she felt this was a great way to encourage others to have those differing conversations, so she found herself replying to my message with a ‘yes’.

What begins as a discussion about storytelling, imagination, and post-apocalyptic fiction slowly opens into deeper territory—faith journeys, doubt, theology, and what it really looks like to listen to someone you don’t fully agree with. We talk about how easy it is to label people, how assumptions can block connection, and why meaningful conversations require humility, curiosity, and a willingness to be uncomfortable.

This episode isn’t about winning an argument or changing someone’s mind. It’s about learning how to engage with people as people, without compromising your convictions, but also without shutting down dialogue.

Anne and I explore what it means to wrestle with faith questions, how personal experiences shape belief, and why honest conversations can lead to greater understanding, even when agreement isn’t the outcome. We had a very encouraging conversation, and I enjoyed hearing about her background in the zombie apocalypse genre.

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If you’ve ever struggled with judgment, felt uneasy talking with people who see faith differently, or wondered how to have respectful conversations across differences, this episode is for you. My hope is that this conversation encourages you to listen more deeply, ask better questions, and step outside your comfort zone with grace and courage.

If you find her style of fiction intriguing, check out Anne's literary works: https://www.amgeever.com

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Was this episode of Honest Christian Conversations meaningful to you? I would love to hear how it impacted you.

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This has been my style for as long as I can remember. I don’t like making waves or being in confrontational or tense situations, so I would avoid them or people who may cause them.

Well, in this minisode, I reflect on how stepping into uncomfortable conversations can grow your confidence, deepen your faith, and stretch you spiritually.

After a powerful and unexpected conversation with former CNN journalist John DeDakis, I share how God used discomfort to challenge my biases, expand my perspective, and remind me that we don’t have to “win” every conversation to walk in truth.

This episode is an encouragement for Christians who feel nervous about engaging with people who hold different views but sense God nudging them to step out of their comfort zone with grace and courage.

Struggling to share your faith with someone you know who has different political views from you?
Faith, Politics, and Truth: A Conversation with a Former CNN Journalist

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Thank you for being part of this community.

This conversation goes beyond political talking points and into something deeper: truth, discernment, and Christian responsibility in an increasingly polarized culture. We discuss the difference between journalism that informs versus media that persuades, the dangers of placing political loyalty above faith, and how Christians can seek facts without sacrificing biblical values.

John shares insights from his years in journalism, explaining how media bias develops, why trusted news sources matter, and how fear and power can distort both politics and faith. We also wrestle honestly with uncomfortable questions many believers face today:

• Can Christians disagree politically and still honor Christ?

• What happens when political leaders are treated like saviors?

• How do we stay grounded in Scripture while navigating modern media?

This episode is not about telling you how to vote — it’s about encouraging you to think critically, seek truth faithfully, and place your hope in Christ above all else.

Take a look at John's novels: https://johndedakis.com/

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If something here encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you take one small step forward in your faith, I’m really grateful you spent this time with me.

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Today, I share a real-life moment of asking God for patience and then walking straight into a day full of slow drivers, tech issues, parenting meltdowns, and emotional exhaustion.

The answer to my prayer came through pressure, not peace.

I had already been warned not to pray for patience unless I wanted testing, so what was I thinking, praying that dangerous prayer?

This minisode explores why spiritual growth often comes through frustration, how to process anger toward God in a healthy way, and why honest faith means bringing your real emotions to Him, even when you’re irritated, tired, or overwhelmed.

You’ll hear encouragement to release your anger without letting bitterness take root and a reminder that God can handle your honesty.

I also reflect on my powerful conversation with Weston Brandon, who walked through deep grief after losing his wife and wrestled with God through his pain. His story is a reminder that even in heartbreak and unanswered questions, growth is possible and faith can survive seasons of anger.

If you’ve ever prayed for change and then felt overwhelmed by the process, this minisode will encourage you to see frustration as part of growth, not proof that God has abandoned you.

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If something here encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you take one small step forward in your faith, share it with me.

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Is it okay to be angry with God after tragedy?

In this deeply moving episode, I step out of my comfort zone by speaking with Weston Brandon, a member of the LDS Church, about grief, faith, and healing after unimaginable loss.

Weston shares the heartbreaking story of losing his wife just weeks after the birth of their son—and the anger, questions, and raw prayers that followed.

Together, we explore what honest prayer looks like in seasons of pain, whether faith can survive deep anger toward God, and how healing can begin even when answers never come. This conversation also touches on widower grief, finding love again without guilt, navigating faith differences, and trusting God through life-altering tragedy.

If you’ve ever felt angry with God, struggled with grief after loss, or wondered if faith can coexist with heartbreak, this episode offers hope, honesty, and encouragement.

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If something here encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you take one small step forward in your faith, I’m really grateful you spent this time with me.

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You’re not alone. I used to think submitting was a terrible way to live because it meant you don’t have a say in what happens to you, but I was wrong. Especially when it comes to being obedient to Christ.

During this minisode, I unpack why obedience to Christ isn’t about control—it’s about freedom. Inspired by my conversation with Scott Mocha, I challenge the fear of sharing the gospel and introduce a new kind of FOMO: fear of missing what God wants to do through you.

I want to encourage believers to step out of their comfort zones, model faith through action, and allow their children to encounter Jesus in real, personal ways.

If you’ve ever hesitated when God nudged you to love someone others avoid, I have been there too, and this minisode is for you.

This minisode only scratches the surface of being obedient to God. My full conversation with Scott Mocha was deeply encouraging and challenged how I think about loving people.

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Was this episode of Honest Christian Conversations meaningful to you? Please share your thoughts with me.

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Today, I sat down with Scott Mocha to explore how God often calls us to love the very people society overlooks.

Scott shares his remarkable journey from addiction to experiencing a radical transformation through unconditional love. Together, Scott and I unpack what it really looks like to respond when God calls you in the moment—without fear, judgment, or pressure to “get it right.”

This conversation challenges believers to move past comfort, religious performance, and excuses, and instead reflect the heart of Christ through genuine connection, compassion, and obedience.

If you’ve ever wondered how to share your faith naturally, love people who don’t believe like you, or respond when God places someone on your heart, this episode will encourage and equip you.

Listen to Scott's Memoir. It’s such an emotionally telling of his testimony. Listener’s discretion is advised as it deals with heavy themes and has some content issues.

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If something here encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you take one small step forward in your faith, I’m really grateful you spent this time with me.

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I am very excited to share the final clip from this mini break with you.

Thank you again for your patience as I get ready to unveil season six.

This clip is from part two of the final episode that I did for season four with Beatty Carmichael.

It was a two-parter, so you will want to go back and listen to part one before you listen to all of part two, but I wanted to share this part of this episode only because it was eye-opening for me.

For those of you who have been with the podcast for a while, you went through season four, and during that time, I had on people who didn’t agree on the Christian faith and how it should be done.

For example, with this one, he deals with deliverance ministry, and for me, it was hard because I was still on the fence about it.

So we had met before this interview, and we talked, and he helped me through a chronic issue that I had, which I can say now to this day, I still have not had any more of those chronic issues that I had that we did the repentance for.

So the reason I picked this clip is that it touches on demons, spirits, sin, and repentance. Part two really goes in depth on that, but you really do need to listen to part one to appreciate part two.

So I encourage you to go back and listen to both episodes.

Again, it’s the last two episodes of season four.

You are going to enjoy this clip.

Refurbished Clip: Season 4, Part 2 with Beatty Carmichael

Well, you can do the same thing in the spiritual laws.

That’s how this whole thing came about: figuring out that if you repent of something, you get freed of something, and then figuring out what type of things to repent of and how to get there.

So things like stubbornness, that’s a demon spirit, sleepiness, stupidity, not just being sleepy because you’re worn out, but a constant state of sleepiness, fatigue, worry, anxiety, all these are demon spirits.

You have panic attacks, depression, sarcasm, anger, and fear.

Here’s what I’ve learned about demon spirits.

I find there are generally two types of spirits that attack people.

One is simply a spirit of infirmity of some sort.

That’s not necessarily a demon spirit.

It’s a disciplined spirit, the best way I can describe it, because they won’t speak back.

Typically, when I would do a deliverance, I would interrogate these things, and I could never interrogate a spirit of infirmity, but I could interrogate the other spirits.

So I started to see that there are different types of spirits that God uses, and some of them are actually sent from God.

They’re all ultimately governed by Him because He created the spiritual laws that these things operate in.

I show you in Scripture where this comes out, and in my book.

When you engage with a demon spirit, the way the demon spirit works is that it’s nothing but an amplifier.

So every sin that we have, think about the sins.

We have the sin of anger, the sin of lust, the sin of pride, the sin of fear, and the sin of depression.

These are things that we can do.

If we do it strongly enough, let’s say anger, because I have a sin nature in my body, I’m going to get angry at times.

You do something against me, and I’m going to be a little upset.

But if I get really upset, then it opens up the door, what’s called a legal right, for a spirit of anger to come in, a demon spirit of anger.

What it is is a spirit of like-kind.

It says, you opened up a door of anger, and I’m a spirit of anger, so I’m going to come in, and I’m going to amplify your anger.

That’s all these things are.

Demon spirits are nothing but sin spirits.

They simply amplify sin.

They don’t make me do anything, but they urge me to do something.

Thank you for listening.

Make sure you go back and listen to Part 1 and all of Part 2 for this awesome conversation.

If you are interested in learning more about Beatty’s book, listening to the episodes would also help.

🎧 Original Episodes:

• Can Repentance Bring Healing? — Part One
• Can Repentance Bring Healing? — Part Two

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If something here encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you take one small step forward in your faith, I’m really grateful you spent this time with me. Please consider subscribing so we can connect further through my other posts.

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This episode deals with the idea of legalism. If you aren’t sure what that’s about, you definitely want to listen to the whole episode.

It’s important that we know the difference between obeying the rules and having a relationship with God, and that is what this whole episode is about.

But the main reason why I wanted to feature this one is that I met a wonderful friend in this episode.

was my guest, and I was the very first podcast she ever went on to promote her book.

I read that book, I binge-read that book in a day and a half because I related so much to it.

And after this conversation and the one we had afterward, we realized we were close enough to meet in person, which we did. We are friends to this day, and I love her to bits.

She is one of my favorite people in the world.

And also, this episode has gotten the most downloads of all my episodes.

This is clearly a winner all around.

You are going to enjoy this clip.

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Refurbished Clip: Season 3, Episode 7

Fun. I love that, because I knew that one chapter was going to be challenging.

Talking about it with people, because it’s almost offensive when I talk about that, the memorizing scripture, and I tried to put it in a respectful way, in the sense that not everyone has that battle.

Not everyone has this struggle.

Memorizing scripture isn’t necessarily wrong, but it is wrong when you put that in a box, and your identity is based on whether you can memorize this or not.

And as a mother, too, because my kids grew up while I was trying to figure this out.

So they were still in a lot of that along the way.

And it was the same thing with them.

I was identified as the kind of mother I was by how well my children could memorize.

And it made me so angry.

How dare you put that on me?

And we do that to people.

That’s what makes me angry, I think, is that we have put identity markers on people.

You have to be this, do this in order to be something or someone.

And that’s not what God says.

And I think it was too much of an emphasis.

And I really wanted to bring that out.

And I did.

And so we’ll see where the conversations go on that.

But it really blesses my heart to hear that you, not that you experienced it, but just that you can relate to it.

Because sometimes I feel like I’m the only one.

And the conversations I have with people sometimes seem odd.

Everyone’s all about the scripture memorization, which is fine.

It’s just, yeah, it becomes a little bit too much, I think.

Yeah, it can, yeah, it can become just a thing you check off the box, which is another thing that you mentioned was box-checking.

I love my to-do list.

I’ll check things off all the time, and I’ll feel accomplished.

I’ll feel relaxed because I remembered something and I put it away.

I finished it.

But that’s not how we should be with God or our walk with him.

That’s not a relationship.

That’s a to-do list.

And I like how you mentioned that.

It’s okay to memorize scripture, but if you’re doing it with the wrong motive, then what’s the point?

Then it’s just another thing you’re doing.

It’s like what I did in school didn’t honor God.

I didn’t have the scriptures memorized.

I don’t even remember half of the ones that I memorized before my test.

That’s not what he wants.

He wants our hearts.

He wants all of us.

And that includes the sacrifice of, if you do plan on memorizing, do it for the right reasons.

Don’t just do it because you’re worried about what your school will think, your friends will think, your church will think.

You need to worry about your audience of one, which is another thing you mentioned.

Thank you for listening to this clip.

🎧 Original Episode:

Buy Desiree’s book and follow her here on Substack

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I encourage everyone to go back and listen to the whole episode. It’s got something for everyone.

But this documentary was about the abuses that the children from Nickelodeon experienced during the 90s and early 2000s, all the abuses that they went through.

It was really hard to get through that whole documentary, but I wanted to watch it because I knew that Drake Bell was going to be involved in this, because he had also expressed that he had experienced some abuse.

So this episode dealt with a lot of things that triggered my past for me, because I have dealt with abuse as well. And it just brought me back to my heart for people who are hurting.

And the clip I am showing you is the most vulnerable part of this episode, where I discuss a missed opportunity and how painful it was for me. And it still is painful for me to this day, because I will let you in on a little secret: while I was going through this episode, trying to find a clip.

When I got to this part, I was choking up again, just like I was during this clip you’re going to hear.

So clearly, it still affects me.

So I hope you enjoy this clip. I hope you listen to the full episode.

Enjoy.

Refurbished Clip: Season 1, Episode 5

Another one where my heart was really burdened for was Aaron Carter.

I don’t know if anyone knows who he is, but he is one of the brothers of Nick Carter from Backstreet Boys.

And I’ve listened to some of his music, and while he was on Instagram, I would follow him.

And I noticed his patterns, his demons, all those things.

And I just would pray for him.

And my heart hurt for what he was going through.

And I was driving one time, and I just started thinking, I was like, I haven’t seen him on Instagram in a while.

It just kind of just felt like something was off.

So I looked it up and saw what had happened.

And my heart broke, like broke, like I cried broke.

And I don’t know why, but it still hurts.

I don’t know him.

I barely know his work.

But there’s just something there that’s giving me a heart for certain people.

And I just felt bad, like, why didn’t I ever try to share the gospel?

I did say something to him once.

And maybe I was feeling bad because the day that I was thinking about, you know, why didn’t I hear about him?

It was like two days before he committed suicide.

And I think that’s why it hurts so much and why it still hurts.

Not that I could have changed anything.

I mean, only God really changes hearts.

But I just kind of wonder: did I have a chance to plant a seed for him or someone close to him?

And did I miss that?

Because I took some extra time to just like, maybe he’s just not on or whatever.

And I don’t know if you’ve ever felt terrible about missing an opportunity with someone.

Maybe it didn’t turn out quite like Aaron Carter’s situation.

But maybe you just missed an opportunity and immediately felt that regret, like, I knew God was calling me to it, and I missed it.

Don’t get bogged down in that.

Just ask God for forgiveness and move on to the next time.

Just say yes the next time.

That’s what I’m trying to learn now.

And that’s why I decided not to put off making this podcast any longer.

There are too many hurting people in the world who need to know Jesus.

And we shouldn’t have excuses, especially in this digital age.

I mean, if you have a heart and a burden for somebody that you don’t personally know, you can find a way to get a hold of them.

Follow them on Instagram and just pray for them.

If you can send them a message, send them a message.

Whether they see it or not, someone’s going to see it.

God’s word doesn’t return void.

If he’s giving you a heart to talk to somebody, it’s not going to return with nothing.

It’s going to work out the way he wants it to, and somebody’s going to hear it.

And everyone needs to hear the gospel.

Thank you for listening to this little clip of Season 1, Episode 5.

I hope it encouraged you, strengthened your relationship with God, and helped you realize the importance of sharing the gospel.

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🎧 Original Episode: