No Such Thing As A Dumb Question

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Have you ever had questions about the Bible?

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I'm sure you have.

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I know I have.

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I went to a Christian high school.

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I had Bible class, but I didn't know everything.

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I also grew up in the church and still I don't know everything.

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There's things that I learned that I never took the time to ask why, why is this a thing?

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Why are we not supposed to do this?

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Why should we do this?

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I've always wanted to understand on a deeper level who God is, who Jesus is, who the Holy Spirit is, but I've always been afraid to ask questions.

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Asking questions was always a thing that scared me and it crippled me to the point where I never asked any questions about my faith and I just blindly believed whatever I was told from, whoever I was told it from.

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But no more.

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I am not that person anymore.

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I ask questions now.

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I want to know more, I want to go deeper, and today's guest, cassian Bellino, is a phenomenal woman.

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I enjoy her podcast.

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Biblically Speaking, she does what we all are probably afraid to do and ask the questions we might think are silly or that someone's going to laugh at or roll their eyes and say you should know this already, aren't you a Christian?

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She is unashamed of the fact that she wants to know more.

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She wants to go deeper in her relationship with God and she wants to know Jesus in a deep level, and she has got some profound thoughts to share with you today on how to do that.

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You are going to enjoy this conversation so much.

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I got so much out of it.

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It was so nice to talk to a kindred spirit who does the things that I'm doing right now as well, and just going deeper in the Bible.

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You are really going to enjoy this episode.

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Welcome to Honest Christian Conversations.

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I'm your host, anna Murby.

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Let's get to it Before the episode starts.

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Make sure you follow the show so you never miss another episode.

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Hi, cassie, and thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

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I'm very excited to talk to you.

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I want to talk a lot about your podcast because I find it very interesting and I think we are simpatico in the way that we want to know a lot of biblical knowledge.

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But before we get there, why don't you share with us your testimony of how you came to Christ?

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Absolutely, and, ana, thank you for having me on the show.

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This is so exciting to be guested on, so excited to be here.

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The testimony is pretty simple but, I think, powerful.

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I think it's amazing how God can use anybody's story to create something wonderful that glorifies his name.

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I'm blessed enough to say I didn't go through any major tragedies or traumas in my life.

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I had a pretty vanilla childhood, my whole family's Christian.

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I have three older siblings raised in a Christian household.

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My father is Russian Orthodox we were just talking about that and then my mother was a Lutheran, non-denominational type Christian, and every Sunday we would switch off one Sunday to my dad's, one Sunday to my mom's kind of church until we were 18.

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And then after that it was kind of up to us to follow the faith that made the most sense to us.

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So as I was going through high school, every time I would get in trouble.

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It would always come back to Christ.

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We were more than just a church on Sunday type of family.

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We truly had Christ embedded within us.

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So when I went off to college, I you know what kind of woman do I want to be, and it was always like the type of woman that my mother was, which was a matriarch, like a woman in God, a woman that knew scripture and that could lead her kids, and I was not that person.

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I was very like.

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I got saved at church camp and I went to church and loved my.

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I loved going to church.

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I associated myself with being a good Christian girl, but in my heart of hearts I loved my sin.

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I was having sex, I was doing drugs, I was drinking, and that did not change.

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When I went to college I thought maybe my frontal lobe would develop and I would suddenly become super Christian and mature.

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But I was an idiot and I loved my sin and it really just came down to like I don't get it.

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What are we doing going to church?

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I get the concept.

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God seems really great.

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I buy into the fact that it's good for me, but I'm going to be honest if I'm being a good Christian and opening my Bible, I don't know what I'm reading and it's not like I go to church and it all makes sense.

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If anything, I go to church and it's even more confusing because no one's explaining it but everyone's acting like it makes sense.

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Who is Paul?

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We don't even get an intro course and it's not like the Bible explains it.

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So I was just so confused how everybody was so bought in and yet I had no idea where they were even getting the explanations from.

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So life goes on and I'm pretty complacent with being a lukewarm Christian and still having sex, still doing drugs, still drinking.

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And then after college I got my first corporate job in Thailand.

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So I moved to Thailand and at that point I'm still like, okay, now I'm an adult because I've left college and I'm going to establish who I am and that woman is a woman of God.

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So like gotta find a church.

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And I found this wonderful local church in Bangkok and it was run by a Swedish couple and literally when I got there they were like welcome home, which now every church says that, but when you're so far from home, it was so nice to hear that.

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And I started going to that church and I started making friends and it was so tight knit that I remember going up to the female pastor one day and being like I love your service, I love everything about it because it was in half in Thai, half in English.

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But you know, do you mind explaining a little bit about the scripture before we jump into it?

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And, first off, why the heck do that?

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No congregation member can go up to the pastor and tell them how to do the sermon, but in my defense, I was seeking the Lord.

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If anybody could answer this question, it would be her.

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By no means am I expectant of it, but it's like, where else would I go?

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And it was small enough that maybe she'd be open to suggestions, a lot of things.

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And of course, she was like, oh yeah, it sounds like you're really hungering for the word.

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You should join our Bible study.

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And I was like I'm in the Bible study.

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And she's like, oh okay, maybe you should go to seminary.

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And it was this weird moment.

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Only I understood God.

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Would this like be cool, like if only it all made sense that I could like finally get over this like imaginary wall that blocked me from experiencing truly loving God.

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And I joked with my friend at some point in lunch, like in 2018, I was like what I need is I need a podcast where, like a really smart person not a pastor who's like trying to get an altar call, but just like a genuinely smart person who just knows Bible to explain the questions asked by a really funny person, so it's not so serious, not like a lecture, but just truly the facts and truly some humor.

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That's all I need.

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And my friend jokingly was like we should do it, and I'm like we're idiots Like no, definitely not us.

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And time passed, I left Thailand, I lived in Columbia, covid hit, I moved home.

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Now I'm living in Arizona, so again living my life.

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I ended up going through a pretty bad breakup in 2020.

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I don't know.

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Around that time, and in the midst of that breakup, the Lord just starts working on my heart.

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And God's timing is wild, because in no way was I seeking this, but God slowly introduced things into my life that perfectly warmed my heart in the ways that I needed it.

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It wasn't like shoving more cringy worship down my throat, because that wouldn't have worked.

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I would have found it cringy.

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But instead God introduced people that I trusted in my life, that suggested books to me that I would actually take into consideration.

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And my sister suggested Crazy Love by Frances Cham and she was like, beware, it will change your life.

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And because of that warning, I did not read it because I was like oh whoa, I don't want my life to change.

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And so I finally read it, amidst this weird breakup time in my life when I was searching for answers.

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And it did.

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It truly changed my life, because Francis doesn't hold back in his rhetoric of this is what it takes to be a Christian.

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Take it or leave it.

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There is no margin for error or interpretation.

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This is what God calls us to do, and it truly is.

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You're either willing to do it or you're not.

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And I remember one part of that book where he was like the only thing God wants from us is to know God and love others.

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And I was like that's it.

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Okay, I can make that work.

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And so then after that, it was like a switch of who is Jesus?

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I need to figure out who this person is.

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I don't want to talk about sin, I don't want to talk about the resurrection We'll get there but who is Jesus?

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Why is he worth all of the hype?

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And so that kind of brought me down this very logical, objective search for truth.

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I want to just love Jesus period.

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Maybe then I'll buy into going to church on Sundays.

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Maybe then I'll start liking worship music.

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I just want to know Jesus, and I read this book called the Book of Longings, which is a fictional book, but it's told from the perspective of Jesus's wife, if he had one.

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And so you, as a woman, now view Jesus within the eyes of a man that's a provider, a man that's like sacrificial, a man that is loving and patient and kind, and your heart truly, truly breaks when it gets to the part of his crucifixion.

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And so all of this is happening.

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I'm so about Jesus at this point.

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I just think he's the coolest person ever and I remember rekindling things with that guy.

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Come back to him and I'm going off about Jesus and I was never like this in the relationship with him and I'm like, dude, I'm reading these books.

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It actually makes sense.

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I'm so into this.

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And he was like not there.

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He was like, oh, what about the rules?

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What about the bad?

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Everyone needs to go to hell just because they don't?

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And he was coming up with all these like and I'll stick beliefs because he was more, I think, just atheist at the end of the day.

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But it was this weird switch where I was like we're unequally yoked.

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Oh no, we're just not meant to be.

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And so we ended up breaking up.

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And even in the breakup, god gave me a vision of why we were breaking up.

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The Holy Spirit was so present because the thought didn't come from me and I was in a Bible study and I just have this thing for Bible studies, where they're just not it.

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I was in a Bible study that changed my life and it changed my life because it was full of prayer, warriors and women that held me accountable and encouraged me in my walk of faith.

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But I guess I went into the Bible studies with the mentality of this should teach me about the Bible.

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And it never does, because it's a group of women who are your peers, or men and women that are your peers, and so they're like well, you should go to BSV or I think that's what it is BSF or something, and that's like a Bible study, something where it's way more high level and way more academic.

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I tried that it was way too high level.

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It was almost like something was too emotional or too high level.

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Believe me, I was looking for that podcast because I still hadn't found it.

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Yeah.

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It kind of got to a point where, basically, I was like I need to leave Arizona.

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I had a couple options and I was like God, just make it so evident where you want me.

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And my friend moved to Hawaii.

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And so I was like God, I'll move to Hawaii if these three conditions are met.

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And, lucky for me, they were met.

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So I moved to Hawaii.

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Right when I moved out here, I met a woman.

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When I was working with the church here.

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I was on the worship team.

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I was really trying to get involved Again, trying to become that godly woman still figuring out, and I was involved with the church singing, and this woman's like it sounds like God isolated you because he's going to use your voice.

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And at the time I was like, yeah, to sing, because, like, I'm a singer.

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And I think it was shortly after that my sister reminded me I think I said something about the podcast, like still haven't found it.

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And my sister was like maybe because you're supposed to start it, Maybe you haven't found it because you're supposed to start it.

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And I was like that's a joke Me, I get in trouble daily with the things that I say.

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You want me to put it on record?

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Are you kidding me?

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Like I'm the least representative of a Christian.

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So I'm just saying no, no, no, no, no.

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I don't even have someone to interview, I don't even have the equipment, I don't even know, like, how to do it, like all the things.

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And literally once that idea came up, it couldn't go like, it didn't go away like just the thoughts of it, and I just like would come up with an excuse and then it would become resolved.

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I got to a point where I was like I don't even know what technology logins Do I need a mic?

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Do I need something for sound?

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What do you do to start a podcast?

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And my sister's friend's old Bible study leader in Colorado.

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I got her on the phone.

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I was like how do you do this, this random woman?

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And she's like listen, you are so late to the game of podcasting that they really make it easy.

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You know the software is shout out to Riverside and shout out to Anchor and Spotify Like they make it so easy.

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Um, and I got like a microphone off Facebook marketplace and she's like at the end of the day, cass, it's okay if you fail, because if you fail then no one listened to it to begin with.

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Like it's okay if like it just never catches on.

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But at the end of the day, it just sounds like God wants to hang out with you.

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So why don't you just like hang out with him and just see what happens?

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Because he clearly wants that.

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I was like okay, I'll do what God wants.

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It'll fail and then I can go back to my corporate job and say that I was obedient and that was it it was.

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I'll just do it because he asked, but there is no possible way this could succeed and I didn't even have anybody to interview.

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I had this idea of what it would be of like we're going to go into scripture, I'm going to do the modern day equivalent of what this means and then kind of like the eisegetical interpretation, the verse and then the exegetical that was basically the setup.

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Didn't have a single person to talk to and, weirdly enough, the guy that I was dating at the time takes people on hikes because it's Hawaii and that's how we make our money, it's tourism.

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The people that he took hiking he's bragging about me, as all good boyfriends should, and they're like we're all theologians.

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We would love to come on her show.

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So, boom, right away had three people I could interview and then their colleagues and then the people they recommend it and before you know it, I had single thing go viral on Instagram and in a week I got 50,000 followers and now we're in year two, we're in season two.

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We just did our first episode today.

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I now have an assistant, I have a website and it's just crazy that it worked.

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It's crazy that I've gotten the guests that I got.

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It's crazy that, a it worked and, b the people that I've had on had no business saying yes to coming on my show with no followers.

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I'm a nobody.

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I'm not, even, like that, christian at this point.

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Obviously, now my life is completely transformed because the word of God, just objectively, is amazing.

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Emotions aside, I have gone far beyond.

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It would be idiotic to say that I don't believe in God.

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It's amazing, however, the fact that Ken Ham said yes, I know, I thought that was pretty cool.

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He's been on Ray Comfort's podcast.

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They're really close together.

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I was like that is crazy, douglas.

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Wilson.

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That is truly all God, the fact that this works, the fact that they said yes, I found Hugh Ross because I saw him on Instagram and he was like I'm an astrophysicist, atheist, and by the time I got to Revelation I was a Christian.

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I was like that's the guy that I need to interview.

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I look him up.

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He's on Kauai the next weekend.

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So I flew over to Kauai, I cornered him at a church, but will you please come on my podcast?

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And he's like yeah, absolutely.

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And because of that I got John Walton and because of that I got a couple other people with reasonstobelieveorg and then I got Ken Ham because he called someone.

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And then I got Ken Ham because he called someone.

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And then I got Andrew Rappaport because he called Ken Ham.

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And like you slowly like, permeate the sphere of, like scholars, and the scholars that I talked to, they're like I can't like the guys that you interview I look up to.

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And I was just like it's not me, it is zero percent Cassian's ability to do this.

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I've done a lot of cool things in my life.

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There's no reason.

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It really is like God was like this needs to happen right now and it needs to happen with these people and I'm just like so grateful that I got to be a part of it.

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And who knows what happens next.

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You know this might only be a two year endeavor.

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That's cool.

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I'm grateful for the time that I've spent here and now it really is.

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Just how do we get the wisdom of the scholars who have spent decades learning and teaching and knowing these things about the Bible that we never get to in church?

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I get to basically whisper it to all my friends who are maybe Christian Sunday school mentalities.

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I'm like, hey, by the way, this verse goes so much deeper.

00:15:57.394 --> 00:16:05.164
By the way, when this happens, we're talking about this and you slowly, as you break these chains, you realize that there were chains to begin with.

00:16:05.164 --> 00:16:13.289
You realize that I was living under the belief that I could give my heart, my mind, my soul, my strength to something and not fully understand it.

00:16:13.289 --> 00:16:15.812
And that's okay, and I gave my life to God.

00:16:15.812 --> 00:16:17.774
My boyfriend's only here for as long as it's good.

00:16:17.774 --> 00:16:27.759
It's just crazy the things that we've normalized and you kind of see the oh, the enemy.

00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:32.190
You shine that flashlight on the enemy of thinking it's not cool to talk about your creator.

00:16:32.190 --> 00:16:37.970
And who knows, maybe people think I'm cringey, and maybe I am, you know, who knows it's everyone's got their own opinion.

00:16:38.340 --> 00:16:48.663
I think it's really cool now, and for a long time I didn't.

00:16:48.663 --> 00:16:49.916
I thought it was very weird to talk about your creator and God and the Bible.

00:16:49.916 --> 00:16:50.924
And now I'm objectively, why wouldn't we want to talk?

00:16:50.924 --> 00:16:52.191
It's the creation of all things, it's your soul.

00:16:52.191 --> 00:16:53.400
That is arguably one of the most important things we could be talking about.

00:16:53.421 --> 00:16:59.285
But yeah, I think that it's also just perfect in his timing that I've never really had Christian friends.

00:16:59.285 --> 00:17:07.913
I've had friends that are like you know, we're lukewarm, we go to church, maybe, but super Christian girl.

00:17:07.913 --> 00:17:17.153
Some girls tell me they're like you're in your Christian era and I'm like, yeah, I mean it's more than an era, but yeah, but now you know me and you like me because you and I have partied together.

00:17:17.153 --> 00:17:18.938
But now I'm talking about God.

00:17:18.938 --> 00:17:24.134
So if you ever want to talk about God, you have someone to come to that you like no, you don't have to go to a random church and make friends.

00:17:24.134 --> 00:17:26.218
And I just feel like, again, this is me.

00:17:26.218 --> 00:17:30.984
Attributing God's plans to him is probably so lame compared to what God has planned.

00:17:30.984 --> 00:17:37.594
But I did have a friend reach out to me secretly and he was like you're the most Christian person I know and I think God is moving in my life.

00:17:37.594 --> 00:17:38.295
What do I do?

00:17:38.295 --> 00:17:40.180
And I was like I don't know.

00:17:40.180 --> 00:17:44.734
It was just cool to be like I can love you and I can pray for you and I can encourage you.

00:17:44.734 --> 00:17:48.421
But yeah, I'll affirm that God's moving in your life, excited to support you.

00:17:49.281 --> 00:18:00.902
But yeah, I think it's turned everything that I've thought about being a Christian on its head, because it really is so simple and we just overthink it and we overthink it to a place of it being weird, like knowing the word of God.

00:18:00.902 --> 00:18:10.096
Not only do I open my Bible now and it makes sense, but like life just is so much more meaning and like so much less responsibility, like I have no control over my life.

00:18:10.096 --> 00:18:15.144
Like when you truly see the depths at which God has control and has put in work to have control over your life.

00:18:15.144 --> 00:18:20.280
Girl, I've got no control in my life and I'm so glad that it's not in my hands.

00:18:20.280 --> 00:18:21.143
That's awesome.

00:18:21.143 --> 00:18:23.276
But yeah, that is that's the story.

00:18:23.276 --> 00:18:24.098
I could keep going.

00:18:24.098 --> 00:18:24.820
Do you have a question?

00:18:26.971 --> 00:18:32.202
Yeah, I, first of all, I want to go back to what you said about how you loved your sin.

00:18:32.202 --> 00:18:37.320
That is not a confession that a lot of people will make with their mouths.

00:18:37.320 --> 00:18:51.340
Obviously, with the things they do They'll prove it, but they never say it, and I think that's a very good sign of humility and honesty that you have to admit that.

00:18:51.340 --> 00:18:54.365
Yeah, that's where I was, that's who I was.

00:18:54.365 --> 00:18:59.521
I loved my sin, because if you didn't love it you would have stopped at any point in time.

00:18:59.521 --> 00:19:15.244
And that's the problem, especially with Christians who are trying to ride the fence, is we love our sin and we aren't able to say it or we don't want to say it, because once you do, that makes it real.

00:19:15.244 --> 00:19:23.874
That makes it real that you know what you're doing is wrong and you're still choosing to do it, and that's a problem, obviously.

00:19:23.874 --> 00:19:32.196
And people just don't want to take that step because then it's on them to do something to fix that.

00:19:32.417 --> 00:19:40.498
At that point, you know what I mean, if you admit yeah, I know what I'm doing is wrong, that this isn't what God wants, what are you going to do with it after that?

00:19:40.498 --> 00:19:47.538
You just going to say, oh, I'm just going to keep going though, or are you going to have that conviction moment and it's going to change you?

00:19:47.538 --> 00:19:50.040
And yeah, I find that interesting.

00:19:50.060 --> 00:19:55.877
It's this weird thing of, oh well, once I admit that I love having sex with my boyfriend before, oh well, you're a Christian, so you need to stop.

00:19:55.877 --> 00:20:03.755
And it's like, well, what if, instead of feeling that shame, I said but it feels good and I'm not hurting anybody.

00:20:03.755 --> 00:20:07.160
And I literally experienced sexual immorality recently with this boyfriend.

00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:19.159
It really turned on my head and I think, knowing the grace and love that God has for me, in the past, I probably would have been like I'm having sex with my boyfriend and that means I'm a bad Christian, but I love it.

00:20:19.159 --> 00:20:21.532
You know, you just kind of deem yourself less worthy.

00:20:21.532 --> 00:20:24.525
You would have shame, you'd have guilt and you'd have judgment.

00:20:24.525 --> 00:20:27.093
And now, recently, when I experienced it, we stopped.

00:20:27.212 --> 00:20:31.522
But when it was happening, I was like God, I am struggling with this.

00:20:31.522 --> 00:20:36.642
You made sex and sex is awesome and I'm struggling with it because I want to do it.

00:20:36.642 --> 00:20:38.592
Why is it so bad?

00:20:38.592 --> 00:20:49.527
And instead of receding into this place of shame and guilt that I would have previously, I said listen, god, I trust you, I like this, but you don't like this.

00:20:49.527 --> 00:20:53.551
I would love to know why you don't like this when it feels so good.

00:20:53.551 --> 00:20:54.894
And I don't feel like anybody's getting hurt.

00:20:54.894 --> 00:20:55.917
I trust you.

00:20:55.917 --> 00:21:03.383
So if this is so bad, I need you to A show me why it's bad and B make it so I hate it as much as you.

00:21:05.471 --> 00:21:14.916
And then he did, and then we stopped and I able to then like authentically, come to the guy and be like listen, you're great, the sex was great.

00:21:14.916 --> 00:21:18.172
But if it comes down to you or God, I'm gonna choose God and like it.

00:21:18.172 --> 00:21:25.442
Honestly was this pivotal moment in the relationship where he was like same, absolutely same, and now like we have a better relationship and it hasn't been a problem since.

00:21:25.442 --> 00:21:31.742
So I think it is this like truly submitting to God isn't like I'll do what God wants.

00:21:31.742 --> 00:21:33.553
It's like, like you said, this is wrong.

00:21:33.553 --> 00:21:38.432
I'm not going to burst into flames by questioning you, because I'm truly seeking to understand.

00:21:38.432 --> 00:21:41.359
Why don't you like this when it feels so good?

00:21:41.359 --> 00:21:42.903
What do you mean?

00:21:42.903 --> 00:21:44.837
I'm just spending time with my friends drinking.

00:21:44.837 --> 00:21:46.041
Why is that bad?

00:21:46.041 --> 00:21:46.905
Can you show me?

00:21:46.905 --> 00:21:50.217
Ask for wisdom and he will give it to you generously, without fault.

00:21:50.217 --> 00:21:58.634
So I feel like I just want to give a space for Christians to exhale and be like I get it, like there is nobody here that can promise not sinning.

00:21:58.654 --> 00:21:59.497
So you're going to sin.

00:21:59.517 --> 00:22:01.050
Okay, now that we all know you will.

00:22:01.050 --> 00:22:07.090
When you do, when you go to God, don't feel ashamed, ask for help and be like why was that bad?

00:22:07.090 --> 00:22:08.693
Why am I struggling with that?

00:22:08.693 --> 00:22:23.178
Point out the things in me that justified that as good and help me see it the way you see it, which is bad, so I can live authentically, not under this barrier of rules and chains, which you absolutely do, and you're like well, I love doing this, but God said I can't.

00:22:23.178 --> 00:22:30.516
That's so much more different than I used to do this and now I see how harmful it is, so I don't even want to do it anymore.

00:22:30.797 --> 00:22:34.782
Yeah, that's a completely different thing, the whole posture, your heart changes.

00:22:34.823 --> 00:22:35.605
Totally different.

00:22:35.605 --> 00:22:40.869
Yeah, when I was even going through this process, I was like I loved going out, that was the thing that we did on the weekends.

00:22:40.869 --> 00:22:45.609
And then I just stopped going out all of a sudden and I was like did God change my heart posture?

00:22:45.609 --> 00:22:47.518
To not like God anymore.

00:22:54.810 --> 00:23:00.161
Yeah, yeah, hey friends, have you joined the Honest Christian Conversations online group yet?

00:23:00.161 --> 00:23:07.104
If you haven't, you're missing out on a perfect opportunity to grow your relationship with Jesus Christ.

00:23:07.104 --> 00:23:11.922
This is a community for those who want to go deeper in their relationship.

00:23:11.922 --> 00:23:23.830
You can do Bible studies together, ask the questions you have biblically and get the answers that you might need or maybe you're somebody who has answers to somebody else's questions.

00:23:23.830 --> 00:23:25.915
You can leave your prayer requests.

00:23:25.915 --> 00:23:27.900
You can leave your praise reports.

00:23:27.900 --> 00:23:30.511
This is a community.

00:23:30.511 --> 00:23:40.397
This is what church is supposed to be, and I am so glad that I finally took that step to make this group so that people's lives can flourish in Jesus name.

00:23:40.397 --> 00:23:47.282
Also, if you haven't signed up for the mailing list, you're missing out on an opportunity there as well.

00:23:47.282 --> 00:23:55.474
I send out a weekly email chocked full of so much awesome content that I don't have time right now to share it all with you.

00:23:55.474 --> 00:24:04.863
But when you do sign up for that mailing list, you get my seven-day free devotional that I created just for those who sign up for the mailing list.

00:24:04.863 --> 00:24:16.516
If you haven't joined either of these, you can go to my website, honestchristianconversationscom and sign up there, or you can use the links for it in the show notes.

00:24:16.516 --> 00:24:21.332
Yeah, it's awesome and I love your approach to that.

00:24:21.392 --> 00:24:32.102
That makes so much sense, because if you come from a legalistic background or a very religious background, you are only told that these are the sins you don't do.

00:24:32.102 --> 00:24:35.075
You don't do these things, they're bad, god doesn't like them.

00:24:35.075 --> 00:24:44.622
But you want to ask well, why, if he made sex and it's good in marriage, why is it good in marriage but it's not good when you're not married?

00:24:44.622 --> 00:24:46.392
You want to know these things.

00:24:46.392 --> 00:24:48.454
As teenagers, we want to know these things.

00:24:48.454 --> 00:24:53.944
And you know you say to your parents I don't like that, because you like it.

00:24:53.944 --> 00:24:56.798
You know you just want to buck them the whole time.

00:24:56.798 --> 00:24:58.075
That's just how it is.

00:24:58.075 --> 00:25:02.882
If your parents say something, you want to figure out why they're saying don't do that.

00:25:02.882 --> 00:25:07.461
It is just curiosity is what we have and we want to know.

00:25:07.461 --> 00:25:16.056
And the fact that you were saying just go to him, ask God specifically God, show me why I shouldn't do this.

00:25:16.056 --> 00:25:19.804
Show me why my parents are saying let's not do this.

00:25:19.804 --> 00:25:26.682
Show me why my pastor saying this is only good in marriage or you shouldn't get drunk every night.

00:25:26.682 --> 00:25:29.515
Show me why these things are wrong.

00:25:30.415 --> 00:25:35.912
Yeah, and like you said, the Bible says he will give us wisdom if we ask.

00:25:35.912 --> 00:25:36.814
Absolutely.

00:25:36.814 --> 00:25:38.738
He tells us to do that.

00:25:38.738 --> 00:25:43.638
He would not tell us to do that if he wasn't going to give us what he said he was going to give us.

00:25:44.141 --> 00:26:00.263
So naturally, we should ask questions, which is something I never did until I was 30 years old and going through my transformation from thinking I was a Christian to actually being one and making it my own personal relationship with God.

00:26:00.263 --> 00:26:05.502
Now I'm asking questions and you know I've made mistakes.

00:26:05.502 --> 00:26:07.396
I'm not a perfect Christian.

00:26:07.396 --> 00:26:08.594
I don't have it all together.

00:26:08.594 --> 00:26:09.798
I don't know everything.

00:26:09.798 --> 00:26:29.819
I absorb so much in my brain at the moment that I'm listening to the podcast or reading books or watching sermons, but I don't retain it all, at least not to a point where I could go on to my podcast and rattle it all off word for word, what I heard a month ago or something.

00:26:29.819 --> 00:26:33.673
I can't do that, but it's in there somewhere for when I need it.

00:26:33.673 --> 00:26:46.217
And, yeah, if you only ask for wisdom, ask him to show you how to love people the way he loves them, how to care about what he cares about.

00:26:46.217 --> 00:26:55.832
These are important things and it is absolutely necessary that we ask him to give us wisdom Absolutely.

00:26:55.852 --> 00:26:58.160
I love that so much, yeah, and I like the way you said that.

00:26:58.160 --> 00:27:00.695
Going to that, because it's knowing your limitations.

00:27:00.695 --> 00:27:13.943
I interviewed a rabbi and he was a messianic rabbi and he was talking about his testimony and he basically went from hardcore agnostic to full-blown Christian within a week just because of the events that transpired and it's one of the craziest testimonies I've ever heard.

00:27:13.943 --> 00:27:19.022
But the culminating point of him becoming Christian is when he basically met two business partners.

00:27:19.022 --> 00:27:22.215
They're evangelizing the whole week and he's like I'm just trying to do business.

00:27:22.589 --> 00:27:23.872
I'm just trying to sell you some software.

00:27:24.511 --> 00:27:29.416
And then it kind of got to a point where he was like my life isn't that good, even though I'm making the most money I've ever made.

00:27:29.416 --> 00:27:34.303
And then he just has this moment that the Lord reveals himself to him in the mirror.

00:27:34.303 --> 00:27:38.346
He's like I'm looking at myself in the mirror and my skin turns black and it starts falling off.

00:27:38.346 --> 00:27:49.535
And it's this moment of you have nothing without me, and I don't know why, but that's always stuck to me of like we don't even have like the thoughts that pray back to God unless God gives us those thoughts.

00:27:49.535 --> 00:27:54.923
And so whenever I find myself in that moment of like weakness, god, help me, love the way you would love.

00:27:54.923 --> 00:28:02.573
I'd be like God, I don't have anything without you.

00:28:02.573 --> 00:28:03.498
So this love is only going to come from you.

00:28:03.498 --> 00:28:04.141
You have blessed me with it.

00:28:04.141 --> 00:28:05.226
That like I can hold it in my heart without asking.

00:28:05.246 --> 00:28:10.980
But like, even last night I was like so annoyed with one of my friends and I'm like God, I want to respond with love, but I can't.

00:28:10.980 --> 00:28:13.031
If I'm going to, it'll be through you.

00:28:13.031 --> 00:28:28.474
And I think, just acknowledging I'm not going to because I don't want to I can't do anything without God and just acknowledging that the successes, the failure, the successes, the opportunities to learn Again, a heart posture to be, like everything I have is from God.

00:28:28.474 --> 00:28:30.576
God, give me the words to pray back to you.

00:28:30.576 --> 00:28:34.240
Give me the worship that I'm going to use to worship you.

00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:37.243
Give me the thoughts I need to evangelize in your name.

00:28:37.243 --> 00:28:46.529
Like all of it, the skin on our bodies, the eyesight, obviously, the homes and the jobs and the families and the husbands like, yes, all from God, but at a minute level, literally everything.

00:28:47.071 --> 00:29:15.941
Yeah, we are completely dependent on God and that's why there's people, sadly, who are searching all the time, their whole lives, searching for that meaning, that thing that is going to satisfy, and if they aren't finding it in God, they're not going to find it.

00:29:15.941 --> 00:29:17.905
And it's sad when someone dies in that position and they didn't find what they were looking for.

00:29:17.905 --> 00:29:18.548
But we are all dependent on God.

00:29:18.548 --> 00:29:24.259
At the end of the day, he can take our breath whenever he wants, and then we could be done just like that.

00:29:24.259 --> 00:29:30.556
I mean, that is a holy big God that is so crazy to think about that.

00:29:30.556 --> 00:29:33.622
He knows how many hairs are on our heads.

00:29:33.622 --> 00:29:37.513
He made us when we were in our mother's wombs.

00:29:37.513 --> 00:29:41.083
He made this beautiful earth that we get to enjoy.

00:29:43.374 --> 00:29:50.355
Yeah, and I think one of the scariest things it's the best and the scariest is the people that don't get to experience God, you know.

00:29:50.355 --> 00:29:59.279
And then the people that do, and we always wonder what about that random kid that was born in the slums of India, that was only exposed to Hinduism, dies, never gets a chance to hear the word of God?

00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:11.320
Well, a there is like scripture I believe it's in Romans that says like God has revealed himself, evidently without fault, to all beings, so like no one was without fault of like no one can say they never experienced God is essentially what the scripture is saying.

00:30:11.320 --> 00:30:25.551
But let's say that there is a child out there that was born in India, in the Mongolian Alps, like somewhere so remote that there's just no like Christian church, there's no, you know, evangelist nearby, that they live their life and die without ever hearing Jesus's name.

00:30:25.551 --> 00:30:31.279
In the legalistic world we could say, oh, that kid's obviously going to hell because they didn't proclaim and give their lives to Christ.

00:30:32.080 --> 00:30:38.317
Many scholars have echoed that God will judge us based on the contents of our heart, so based on that child.

00:30:38.317 --> 00:30:47.133
He will look in that child's heart and say are you still a conscientious person, are you still a good person based off what you did know, based off everything you knew.

00:30:47.133 --> 00:30:51.883
How well did you do, despite you not ever knowing Jesus's name or making it to the church or the altar call.

00:30:51.883 --> 00:30:56.298
He'll judge you based on that, and so the same goes for us who have heard Jesus's name.

00:30:56.298 --> 00:31:03.117
Okay, he can still look at us and judge us by our hearts to say do you actually know me?

00:31:03.430 --> 00:31:06.113
Which is terrifying because that's where we get that depart from me.

00:31:06.113 --> 00:31:06.997
I never knew you.

00:31:06.997 --> 00:31:11.079
You heard my name and yet I know the contents of your heart and you don't actually worship me.

00:31:11.079 --> 00:31:12.300
That's the scary part.

00:31:12.300 --> 00:31:20.731
But on the gracious flip side, it's like for those that never hear his name, god's not going to be like sorry, that's not really reflective of an all loving God.

00:31:20.731 --> 00:31:24.079
God is going to look at their hearts and say you know what.

00:31:24.079 --> 00:31:26.192
You didn't know my name, but you still did your best.

00:31:26.192 --> 00:31:28.276
I'm still going to reward you in heaven.

00:31:28.276 --> 00:31:34.367
And you can get into the legalistics of it, but I think conceptually, backing up, it's like he's an all loving God.

00:31:34.367 --> 00:31:38.336
Why wouldn't all loving God punish those children?

00:31:38.336 --> 00:31:52.863
But he will judge you fairly on the contents of your heart, based on everything that you've ever been told and everything you know, and so you can't really say well, I raised my hand on an altar call once when I was in sixth grade, so I'm good to go if the contents of my heart are trash.

00:31:53.349 --> 00:31:55.213
Yeah, yeah, I agree with that.

00:31:55.213 --> 00:32:03.539
Yeah, there's so much to learn and your podcast, biblically Speaking, is a very good resource.

00:32:03.539 --> 00:32:07.010
I mean, like you said, you have phenomenal guests that come on.

00:32:07.010 --> 00:32:08.032
They know their stuff.

00:32:08.032 --> 00:32:11.560
I've listened to several episodes and I've enjoyed it.

00:32:11.560 --> 00:32:15.557
Which one would you say is your favorite episode?

00:32:15.557 --> 00:32:25.064
I'm not going to say favorite guests, because I'm pretty sure you love them all and think they're all cool, but which episode really impacted you the most?

00:32:25.369 --> 00:32:27.074
Oh my gosh impacted me the most?

00:32:27.074 --> 00:32:29.018
Well, anything from season one.

00:32:29.018 --> 00:32:33.054
Season one is my baby, but I do think that topics in season two are way better.

00:32:33.054 --> 00:32:37.090
So anything after episode 35 is so much deeper, because I'm actually smart.

00:32:37.090 --> 00:32:42.030
If you listen to me, in season one I'm like well, the Gospels are four different stories of the same.

00:32:42.050 --> 00:32:56.499
I'm an idiot, watch me learn and read it's good to have, though, because there are people who are fresh Christians just starting out, and they need to know that they aren't the only ones asking questions they may think are silly or whatever.

00:32:56.499 --> 00:33:07.955
So, yeah, and to see that you're growing from one season to another is going to give them hope, too, that I too can learn something and I'm also going to grow.

00:33:08.817 --> 00:33:12.633
Yeah, yeah, I have no problem asking dumb questions If that's the price I have to pay.

00:33:12.633 --> 00:33:15.356
Whatever People can call me dumb, at least we got, at least we all got there.

00:33:15.356 --> 00:33:27.151
You know, yeah, my favorite episodes Well, I really loved, actually, the one I just did with Andrew Rappaport and that was like how to evangelize and kind of like how to come back from atheistic arguments.

00:33:27.151 --> 00:33:29.553
He just has such a logical approach to evangelism.

00:33:29.553 --> 00:33:42.680
But if you go back to season one, any episode that I did with Holy Ghost Stories because they're a podcast that essentially tells stories within the Old Testament as if they're bedtime stories, so you really feel the feet of the people in the story.

00:33:42.839 --> 00:33:48.789
And we did a couple episodes on Jonah and I always thought that story was about the whale.

00:33:48.789 --> 00:34:03.086
It's barely about the whale, that's such a side character and I think, just like I am Jonah in so many ways, and I was Jonah with this podcast, and I think that that humanization of the Bible made it hit closer to home.

00:34:03.086 --> 00:34:09.409
So anything with Holy Ghost Stories is good, anything with James Sedlicek, I mean, he's definitely the all-star of guests.

00:34:09.409 --> 00:34:13.891
He just is one of the smartest people I've ever met in my life, so I love every episode with him.

00:34:14.472 --> 00:34:18.407
Yeah, yeah, you've got some really good gems in those seasons that I've really enjoyed.

00:34:18.407 --> 00:34:19.887
Which ones do you like good gems in those seasons?

00:34:20.028 --> 00:34:20.668
that I've really enjoyed.

00:34:20.668 --> 00:34:21.289
What songs do you like?

00:34:22.130 --> 00:34:28.579
I just recently listened to the one about hearing from God and praying.

00:34:28.579 --> 00:34:30.440
I thought that was very interesting.

00:34:36.324 --> 00:34:36.668
I liked the whole.

00:34:36.668 --> 00:34:38.585
Just the whole thing was really good information that I needed that we do need to have silence.

00:34:38.585 --> 00:34:55.717
We need to make time for God, to hear him, to actually hear him, which is not something I have been very good at lately, especially because I have four kids at home and I'm constantly busy and we need to stop.

00:34:55.717 --> 00:35:00.034
We need to take a second and we can't give God our last.

00:35:00.034 --> 00:35:04.047
We need to give him our first second and we can't give God our last.

00:35:04.047 --> 00:35:04.929
We need to give him our first.

00:35:04.929 --> 00:35:06.592
That was another thing that I just really felt him saying.

00:35:06.592 --> 00:35:08.476
We need to make more time for God.

00:35:08.476 --> 00:35:14.317
We can't just give him our scraps, we have to give our best, and that's something I have to work on.

00:35:15.585 --> 00:35:17.505
Yeah, setting the appointment, mm-hmm.

00:35:17.505 --> 00:35:19.567
Yep, setting the appointment.

00:35:20.007 --> 00:35:27.032
I always as there's been a few times in my life where I have put it in my calendar read the Bible.

00:35:27.032 --> 00:35:30.255
I've actually put it as a reminder for the daily things.

00:35:30.255 --> 00:35:34.677
But then at the same time I'm like, is that too legalistic to do?

00:35:34.677 --> 00:35:46.693
Because if I don't do it, you know I feel bad about it, you know I feel bad about it, and but if I do it then I'm like whoo, I get to check it off for my box.

00:35:46.693 --> 00:35:50.827
And then I'm like wait a minute, is this just another checklist thing to say that I'm a good Christian today?

00:35:50.827 --> 00:35:53.193
So it's kind of.

00:35:54.255 --> 00:35:56.318
The enemy is sneaking in yeah.

00:35:58.304 --> 00:36:05.570
Yeah, I feel that way too, because I'm always late to my appointments and so I have 6 am Bible time and I'm always sleeping in.

00:36:05.570 --> 00:36:06.793
I always miss that appointment.

00:36:06.793 --> 00:36:11.233
But I try to at least be like, before I open my laptop, I open my Bible first.

00:36:11.233 --> 00:36:14.268
So it doesn't matter what time that is, I'm still going to open my Bible first.

00:36:14.568 --> 00:36:46.751
Yeah, the first thing I do when I wake up is I try really hard to make sure that I pray first, even if I'm laying in bed and praying, and occasionally fall back asleep and wake up and I'm like oh it happens to me but I still, I still make time because it's the only, it's the only time that I really have where it's not divided between anyone else and if I have to, I'll keep my eyes open so that I really have where it's not divided between anyone else, and if I have to, I'll keep my eyes open so that I can actually stay awake while I'm doing it.

00:36:46.751 --> 00:36:51.809
But yeah, I try to be intentional with that at the very most.

00:36:51.809 --> 00:37:04.338
And then I try to at least read a Proverbs or a Psalm or just a short bit of the Bible to my kids, if I can, before they go off to school.

00:37:04.338 --> 00:37:19.719
I'm not always consistent with that, but I always try to make sure that I read the Bible at least once a day, because I notice that my day sucks if I don't at least try Truly.

00:37:20.369 --> 00:37:21.644
So it's like I, I gotta do something.

00:37:21.644 --> 00:37:30.297
And then you get into a routine yes, you get into a routine reading the Bible and then you're like something's missing and you're like, oh the word, you crave it, like a sweet craving.

00:37:30.297 --> 00:37:32.108
You're just like something's missing.

00:37:32.108 --> 00:37:34.456
I think even Dr Miller in that episode.

00:37:34.456 --> 00:37:36.447
He's like you know, it's time to pray.

00:37:36.447 --> 00:37:40.012
God calls you to pray to him and you do feel that calling.

00:37:40.213 --> 00:37:42.536
Yeah, exactly, I liked that part too.

00:37:42.536 --> 00:38:06.193
It just reaffirmed what I already feel is sometimes I'm doing something and someone's name will just pop in my head or I'll think about them and I'll either have to write it in my notes that I got to message them later, or I'll do it right then and there, and if it's someone that I can't contact, I'll just say a quick prayer for them.

00:38:06.193 --> 00:38:15.648
But I'm trying to be more intentional when I have those moments and I noticed that if I reach out to the person that I'm thinking of, they're like oh, I needed that right now.

00:38:15.648 --> 00:38:23.460
And that just makes me feel so special that I took the time out of my day to listen to what God was calling me for.

00:38:23.585 --> 00:38:27.836
And I like how he mentioned that it's a still small voice.

00:38:27.836 --> 00:38:29.324
It's a quiet voice.

00:38:29.324 --> 00:38:34.237
He's not always going to yell and be all boisterous about things.

00:38:34.237 --> 00:38:40.615
He's going to be quiet, it's going to be subtle I guess that's the word.

00:38:40.615 --> 00:38:44.536
Just, he's not going to be brash out there all the time.

00:38:44.536 --> 00:38:59.998
Sometimes that's how things work, but most of the time the Holy Spirit will prompt you in one way or another and you have to be able to hear it, and you're not going to hear it if you can't be quiet and learn how to listen.

00:38:59.998 --> 00:39:02.713
So something I'm still working on.

00:39:02.713 --> 00:39:03.186
What is that like?

00:39:03.246 --> 00:39:05.329
CS Lewis quote how do you stay far from God?

00:39:05.329 --> 00:39:06.273
Keep the radio on.

00:39:07.625 --> 00:39:20.210
Yeah, we're constantly full of busyness, of loud noises, and we don't have time even to take care of ourselves, let alone make time for God, or at least that's how we think.

00:39:20.210 --> 00:39:23.375
But we all have the same 24 hours.

00:39:23.375 --> 00:39:29.306
We just have to make an appointment, and I think that's something he said you have to make an appointment with God.

00:39:29.306 --> 00:39:36.548
That's where I want to do it, but at the same time I'm afraid that I'm going to get too legalistic with it.

00:39:36.548 --> 00:39:56.851
So then I'm just like I don't know how to make a happy medium other than make sure at least every day I try to make time to read a Bible verse or memorize a Bible verse, Just do something where I'm opening the Bible or I'm praying as often as I can, making some time for God.

00:39:57.344 --> 00:40:04.121
I also I forget so often to be still and let him do some talking too.

00:40:04.121 --> 00:40:09.813
That's my biggest thing and I know he mentioned it that it's hard for us to sit and be quiet.

00:40:09.813 --> 00:40:12.016
It is so hard.

00:40:12.016 --> 00:40:13.739
It's so hard.

00:40:13.739 --> 00:40:18.596
Five minutes feels like five hours, and then your mind's racing.

00:40:18.596 --> 00:40:23.447
If you're a woman, your mind is going while you're sitting there and you're being quiet.

00:40:23.447 --> 00:40:36.777
It's like you can't be quiet, and the only time I'm quiet is when I'm sleeping and other than that it's so hard to find the silence and to just stop and let him talk.

00:40:37.798 --> 00:40:39.719
But I do need to work on that.

00:40:39.719 --> 00:40:42.001
But also like again, everything you have is from god.

00:40:42.001 --> 00:40:43.628
So just go to him and be like god.

00:40:43.628 --> 00:40:44.913
Like where do I get the silence?

00:40:44.913 --> 00:40:46.820
Like god, where?

00:40:46.820 --> 00:40:47.663
How do I?

00:40:47.663 --> 00:40:49.469
Like I'm even struggling with being legalistic.

00:40:49.469 --> 00:40:50.791
Like show me a way to do this.

00:40:50.791 --> 00:40:53.067
Not be like everything you have is already from him.

00:40:53.067 --> 00:40:58.989
Any solution that you're going to get to these problems is going to come from him thank you for that reminder.

00:40:59.050 --> 00:41:03.199
That's like a gentle loving kick in the pants that I needed.

00:41:03.764 --> 00:41:07.375
I think you're doing so much better than you're giving yourself credit for Ana.

00:41:07.394 --> 00:41:12.018
I mean just the fact that you remember to reach out to people when you think of them.

00:41:12.018 --> 00:41:13.365
Talk about being fruitful.

00:41:13.365 --> 00:41:14.931
I feel like that is low-key.

00:41:14.931 --> 00:41:24.965
One of the easiest ways to be fruitful as a Christian, when you have somebody put on your heart, reach out, don't hesitate, don't be like oh, is it weird?

00:41:24.965 --> 00:41:28.702
Like no, like that moment it won't be weird to be like I know we haven't spoken in five months, but like or five years, you're still in my heart.

00:41:28.702 --> 00:41:32.306
You know that God's doing that, that they'll receive it and even if it doesn't, it'll play in a seat.

00:41:32.306 --> 00:41:38.289
I think just what you said, just there, is the easiest way as us, as Christians, to Again love God or know God.

00:41:38.289 --> 00:41:38.811
Love others.

00:41:39.590 --> 00:41:41.032
That's all we're called to do Well.

00:41:41.032 --> 00:41:44.373
Cassian, thank you so much for coming on and talking.

00:41:44.373 --> 00:41:45.775
This has been super fun.

00:41:45.775 --> 00:41:53.018
Go ahead and give us your website so that everyone can find your podcast and engage with you.

00:41:53.958 --> 00:41:55.639
I know I've had fun on this conversation.

00:41:55.639 --> 00:41:56.481
This was great.

00:41:56.481 --> 00:41:59.922
It's just so great to talk about the Lord in the middle of the week with another Christian.

00:42:00.965 --> 00:42:01.286
So thank you.

00:42:01.286 --> 00:42:06.077
Yeah, if you like biblically speaking and you want more, bibspeakcom is kind of the home base.

00:42:06.077 --> 00:42:08.170
It's B-I-B-S-P-E-A-K.

00:42:08.170 --> 00:42:12.429
Bibspeak like a baby big, a baby bib, and then speak and that's kind of where everything is.

00:42:12.429 --> 00:42:13.931
I've got free stuff in there.

00:42:13.931 --> 00:42:26.318
I've got communities that are free I that I don't promote so secret I guess but then, like, my socials are there and I'm like so active on Instagram every single day.

00:42:26.318 --> 00:42:27.380
And then, of course, the podcast.

00:42:27.380 --> 00:42:30.090
It's on Spotify, apple, youtube, so whichever works the best for you.

00:42:30.090 --> 00:42:35.594
I know some people don't have Spotify in some countries, but bibspeakcom, that is like home base for everything.

00:42:35.594 --> 00:42:38.851
But if you want to talk to me, follow me on Instagram, like DM me.

00:42:38.851 --> 00:42:40.074
I'm there literally every day.

00:42:40.996 --> 00:42:41.358
Awesome.00:42:41.358 --> 00:42:43.625


Thank you so much again for coming on Thank you.00:42:43.844 --> 00:42:44.726


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