It Doesn't Need to Be Weird
Tips for Having Healthy Conversations About Sex with Your Children
Do you have young children? Are you already dreading “the sex talk”?
Maybe you grew up with parents who never talked about it. If you’re anything like me, you learned through trauma, movies, or experiences you weren’t prepared for.
I have five children, and honestly, I don’t remember ever having this conversation with my oldest daughter. She’s an adult now.
My crash course came when my son was in fifth grade and was introduced to a few semi-pornographic videos on YouTube by a friend.
I didn’t handle that situation well, having been addicted to porn most of my younger years. Because he attended public school, he was also exposed to and taught about sexual topics and ideas I had never encountered.
At the same time, I was raising two young daughters and another son. The idea of having to deal with this talk four times was nauseating for me.
Having experienced molestation as a child and then growing up with very little healthy discussion about sexuality, I wanted my children to feel comfortable talking to me about difficult subjects—even this one. God forbid they ever experience something similar to what I went through. However, I didn’t have a clue how to do this without making it weird or making my children feel weird.
Children today are not sheltered, no matter how much you try to make them be. They are growing up in an increasingly unfiltered world. The truth is, they often know more than we realize.
I was faced with a choice:
Would I allow my discomfort to keep me from preparing and protecting my children? Or would I trust God to help me overcome my nervousness about a topic that often feels awkward and taboo?
I chose to trust God.
I began having open and honest conversations with my children. We called body parts by their proper names, and I provided age-appropriate explanations and guidance as needed.
Have you ever heard of the Rebooted Teen program? I hadn’t either.
That’s why I was excited to sit down with former porn addict and school teacher, now worship leader and porn addiction recovery coach, Chris Rogers, to discuss his Rebooted Teen ministry.
Through a thoughtful conversation about why children are drawn to certain types of content, we can better understand how to respond as parents with wisdom, grace, and confidence. I learned so much from Chris, and his insights were both practical and encouraging.
I wish there had been a female mentor like Chris in my life as a teen to help my parents and me navigate these waters.
If you are dreading the “sex talk” with your own children, this episode is designed to encourage and equip you with practical tools for navigating conversations that may feel awkward but don’t have to be.
If this episode gave you the confidence to have that awkward conversation with your child, I would love to hear about it.
My parents did not give me the sex talk and I’m not sure about my brothers and sister before me. I will say this; I was horrified in my very first sex education class in the 5th grade! I still can’t unsee it and I am 63 yrs old! It doesn’t matter what I obviously learned and experience after that - it traumatized me. That was long before the age we are in today. I had a talk with my daughter, but admitting, I will not say it was the sex talk. I remember saying something along the line about boys will say they love you just to have sex with you. I said it a few times and let’s be real, that was doubtfully effective by any stretch of the imagination. Thank you for writing on this topic. I hope it will encourage others to consider all that you have spoken and brought into the light. Good bless you.